Monday, August 21, 2006

IT JUST UNFOLDED BEFORE ME. Hunger Strike Day 38; Vigil Day 90


My/our dear brothers and sisters,

FIRST OF ALL: I implore you to really search your hearts. I believe that the opportunity for personal LIFE represented by the 9th (Africa Action - White House Demonstration) and 17th (NYC/World Wide Demonstrations) events I've mentioned are the equivalent of our shot of achieving Civil Rights, or stopping Apartheid.... DON'T MISS THIS OPPORTUNITY. DON'T. You'll always regret it.

HEALTH: All systems go. Ok, yes, quite a bit of girth is going. But NO signs of long term damage yet. Amazing. A number of people after they talk to me say, "Your health is because God is using you." I think this is True.

MENTAL: Quite sure I have never been quite as sharp.

EMOTIONAL: Hmm. I wouldn't trade any 5 minutes of the last 3+ months or the next 1.3 months for $1,000,000,000. True. But Jay, you could use the $ to do so much good! No. $$$$ are not going to save Darfur, or us. There is enormous stress, fatigue, deep down worry. But oh my gosh, the sense of being in the flow, of being an instrument being used by Good, Love, Truth, LIFE. Just like Jesus said. No, no sense of euphoria or anything like it. But it remains awesome. Heaven.

SPIRITUAL: In the 5-50 deep conversations I have each day in the park, it is far from rare that the comment is made of me, "you are profoundly humble." I think that is True. I love, I LOVE the Truth, and the Truth is only possible with profound humility. So I think it is Truth, not arrogance, that has me say - I am achieving a very, very high level of spirituality. When I imagine what Jesus, Gandhi, King... will say of me today, when we meet in the distant future, I think it will be quite respectful, approving, and pleased.

ENVIRONMENTAL: The conversation I've heard tell of is something like, "Mother Teresa, I couldn't do what you do for a million dollars!" To which M. Teresa replied, "Me either!" I love my Darfur family. I love my family of US. I love my global family. THIS is where my mind/body/spirit/heart is - saving Darfur/us from Hell-on-earth in the variety of forms we are in it. Sure the environment is tough, but there haven't been 5 minutes total that it has been a negative to me. Amazing. I can remember as a nice, but terribly spoiled child being so clear in my mind. "If I lose all the material supports and comforts to which I have become accustomed, I will prefer death;" I was CERTAIN. This was so clear and tangible to me then. Hmm. Boy, was I wrong. I HAVE LOST NOTHING. I HAVE GAINED EVERYTHING.

AN UNFORESEEN OPPORTUNITY FOR ME TO HELP MY MANY FAMILIES HAS UNFOLDED BEFORE ME: Consequently I need undivided computer time for several days as round the clock as I can muster. Two days at least. Maybe four. I'll be totally out of touch with anyone until Wednesday or so. Very exciting prospect to help be a catalyst to stop this Genocide. NOTHING to fear I promise. I promise. Trust me. Involves maybe HUGE social risk for me, and me alone. But I see nothing but upside, maybe HUGE for Darfur and ALL of my global Families. It is best that I not explain until later in the week to those of you that are close to me. How big is our family now? 6+ billion? Jay

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